I didn't expect my birthday to put the wind back in my sails to be honest. Okay, I'd sailed into another set of doldrums of my own making, but considering the amount of new and quite alien experience I'm having thrown at me of late, in a new and strange place with new and strange (but overall nice) people, I think I'm entitled to have a regular cyclical bout of minor depression every so often.
As you can tell I'd kinda tried to fly the birthday under the radar somewhat, but still felt compelled to mark it on here, however un-cryptically.
*sigh* I Dunno...
I'm 29, but I in no way do I feel 29, nor apparently do I look 29 (hurrah!). And, I'm quite happy to stay 29 for the foreseeable future thank-you-very-much. Next comes three-zero. I'm told thirties are the new twenties, forties the new thirties, but still it still seems like a slippery slope to me. The death of my youth anyway.
It was probably the contact with friends, old and new back up north, as well as the warmth of family that gave me a little shove back in the right direction. Realised for umpteenth time, after forgetting it;
"Perhaps, I can do this..."
The weekend back up north was great, caught up with old workmates - realised how much I'd changed, and how much I don't miss the place (though I do miss them, and the 33% discount on books). Also saw the mighty Tigers draw 1-1 with Crystal Palace at the KC Stadium. 18,000 people screaming their heads off can lift anyone actually.
Sunday I met up with friends, perused the Beverley Food Festival (organised by my good friend Matt it turns out, for which he can be immensely proud) and then hung out with two girl-friends of mine who as well providing great company were also a great source of amusement. See, they were getting progressively slammed as the afternoon went on, I had to stay sober as a judge seeing that I was driving back down to here. We've already vowed to do that again soon on a future Saturday back north when I can join in and drink my head off.
Also, just when I was beginning to get a little cynical of my course mates and a few little cliques forming, they've gone an organised a big meal for everyone on Wednesday at a local gastropub. Plus many texted me Sunday as well, so surprisingly more people seem to give a damn than I dared think.
Otherwise the fact that I'm being kept so busy down here now is probably a good thing too now; gives me less time to think and dwell. Evenings are fast being eroded by runs, dinner and studying so that I actually have to schedule myself an hour of TV just to break the night up.
Which reminds me, Spooks is about to start, eek!
Monday, October 02, 2006
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4 comments:
Spooks was good. A little hard to grasp with the gun/girl escapee, would they do that? I don't think so. Rather like the girlfriend and the phone on Lost, eh? is right.
If i read correctly and you have moved as well as started a new career, then you are bound to have waves of doubt to negotiate. Any of us would.
As time goes on, i'm sure your confidence will blossom. I had similar heebie-geebies in this job i can tell you.
If there's one thing I've learnt about being in a company where I'm the youngest by umm 16 years (and a largest gap of 42 years), it's that you NEVER feel as old as you actually are :)
I think that's good. :)
Speaking of time though, I really should be off, or I'll wonder where the day's gone! 25 past 7 and I'm just about to head home...
Yeah was a good Spooks ep, intriguing twist towards the end. The LOST twist in comparison was a total curveball that I'm still scratching my head over - are they going to go 'off island' in the 'contemporary island time' if you see what I mean? (ie, not in flashback)
And yeah, it was a case of new career, new house, new area, new people all at once... SO hence the waves of doubt, no doubt... You're right. :)
Monk - lol... But you're still at work gone 19:27?!
Glad you had a very good birthday Ing, and enjoyed your time back home :-)
And everyone has self doubt at times, but rest assured you *can* do it.
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