Friday, August 25, 2006

Doubts; I've had a few

Summer's returned, we finished early for the bank holiday weekend... Life is good.

I think.

In week three of the training programme the learning curve has gotten real steep. I knew to expect this, but still the depth of knowledge that an officer is supposed to carry around in their head plus various other protocols - still it all comes as a shock.

And I'd be lying if I didn't sit and think occasionally if I really was good enough to be selected after all.

But see in that lies a slippery slope; next comes the question...

Did I make the right decision?

Swiftly followed by

What am I doing here?

Then...

If this isn't right, what is?

...And then we're on an express train to depression central.

However, went out on the town with my new colleagues which was good fun. Very interesting indeed to see a totally different side to everyone. I take solace in the fact that they're a good hearted bunch; we look out for each other - as demonstrated by mine, and a few others', night being cut short as we escorted a slightly wasted collegue back to the block.

Oh, but it's too nice outside to be moping in here. The garden is calling, as is the sun's warm embrace.

I'll lose myself in that for a while before my doubts come back to haunt me.

Now where's my cranberry juice?

3 comments:

snow said...

Its only been a few weeks Ing, you will be fine guy.

Is a huge like change from Waterstones to Police Officer and the study that goes with it must be daunting yeah.

You be fine!

Ingmar said...

Yeah, thanks. I guess when the novelties wear off the realities set in.

Inspector Monkfish said...

I've read bits of your archive, but I haven't read the whole thing.

It sounds like your fear is based on whether you'll be able to do it. That sounds to me like you know you still want to be doing it, or you wouldn't be worried about not being able to do it. Get me? :)

In which case, just see how it goes. I can't tell you to stop worrying (well, ok, I could, but it's not that easy ;), but it sounds like you're worrying about things there's no point worrying about.