Blogging has become infintely more difficult for me in recent months, hence the complete and utter lack of updates.
It's not that I have a lack of interesting stories from my work and personal life, far from it in fact, it's just that those tales cannot be posted to a global audience anymore. I'm terrified of jeapordising my work and my relationship; I value both far too much.
I'm grateful for the friends I've made through this blog; you know who you are, and you know how to get hold of me in the future. Fellow bloggers - I admire your courage and your writing and I'll continue to read in the future. Keep at it; I'm just sorry I don't have that courage myself any more.
These posts will remain though, I shan't be hitting the big delete button just yet.
Goodbye, and thank you.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Finding someone
Like a number of other bloggers I've been thinking allot about whether to keep this online journal going.
It becomes tricky when you truly begin to know your audience, readers become true friends, and you realise that anything you vent out into the ether can actually have consequences.
But in the meantime I'm still here.
At least once of you was curious as to one of the subjects I touched upon in my last post, and I did promise a follow-up.
I came out of a two-year relationship last winter. Love and great times were shared but sadly we decided to part. I couldn't have wished for a more amicable split, and I feel blessed that I've gained a true friend who'll remain just that in the future.
It took me an awfully long time to venture back into the dating game, but as spring slowly turned into an early summer the time felt right to dip a toe into the water.
Still being of limited confidence after all these years, I decided to play to my strengths and joined uniformdating.com. Put basically, it's a dating site for those in the uniformed services (Police, Ambulance/NHS, Fire, Army, RAF, Navy) to meet other uniformed services, or 'civvies', and vice-versa.
The Yorkshireman in me managed to find an online promotional code giving me a month's free membership (which was a bonus). Joining the site was simple enough, however setting up a profile and choosing a suitable photo must have taken half an ice age. See, those who know me will know that one trait I despise in people is arrogance. I'm generally uncomfortable to crow about my own achievements and merits, so just how was I going to sell myself to any potential date?
Hours of staring at a blank cursor flashing on the monitor finally paid off and I put myself out there. Time to sit back, wait, an to be honest not expecting much interest to come trickling back.
But, lo and behold, women started to view my profile. Success! I hear you cry. However, not strictly not the case. Did they not read that I wasn't looking for women over 40? I mean, no offence. I've dated women a few years older but I would most certainly draw the line at a decade now. A few polite excuses were in order. The other problem was that the more interesting women quite literally lived at the other end of the country. I've done the long distance (read transcontinental) thing before and it ain't easy at all.
About a week later however I was messaged by someone a mere 20 miles away. For the purposes of anonymity in this journal I will refer to her as she.
She was attractive, fun, intelligent and bubbly. Even more surprisingly she wanted to meet me. I checked a few times. Yep, she was talking me.
Crikey.
We arranged to meet at a local chain-pub for our first date. Suffice to say you can tell things are going well that you're so deep in conversation that three hours pass in the blink of an eye. Indeed she was attractive, fun, intelligent and bubbly in person.
Wow.
Mentally checked again, oh my god it was me she had wanted to meet.
Date two would have been a lot sooner had I not contracted a pleasant case of conjunctivitis and a particularly chesty cough (I blame a stop search of a suspicious male I did who didn't quite have the best bodily hygiene shall we say). However she demonstrated great patience in waiting for me to get well again.
We arranged to meet again.
The rest you can say is history.
Some two months later and things are going very well indeed. We spend as much time together as work allows. We share similar passions in life, yet she's opening my eyes to new things.
One night she told me she loved me. I was blindsided. I never expected to hear someone look into my eyes and say that ever again. I too have fallen in love with her.
Quite simply she has been the most wonderful surprise. Without sounding cliched I feel like the luckiest man in the world. I expected a long trail of unsuccessful dates. She certainly sounded like she had experienced just that. But to strike lucky first time? I mean, really, what are the chances?
I don't have many exes to speak of, but at least a couple of them remain good close friends.
As I said to one of them recently "Each love is unique."
Treasure each love, mourn it's loss, but dare surrender yourself to the promise of something new.
Hopefully I am proof positive that it is possible.
It becomes tricky when you truly begin to know your audience, readers become true friends, and you realise that anything you vent out into the ether can actually have consequences.
But in the meantime I'm still here.
At least once of you was curious as to one of the subjects I touched upon in my last post, and I did promise a follow-up.
I came out of a two-year relationship last winter. Love and great times were shared but sadly we decided to part. I couldn't have wished for a more amicable split, and I feel blessed that I've gained a true friend who'll remain just that in the future.
It took me an awfully long time to venture back into the dating game, but as spring slowly turned into an early summer the time felt right to dip a toe into the water.
Still being of limited confidence after all these years, I decided to play to my strengths and joined uniformdating.com. Put basically, it's a dating site for those in the uniformed services (Police, Ambulance/NHS, Fire, Army, RAF, Navy) to meet other uniformed services, or 'civvies', and vice-versa.
The Yorkshireman in me managed to find an online promotional code giving me a month's free membership (which was a bonus). Joining the site was simple enough, however setting up a profile and choosing a suitable photo must have taken half an ice age. See, those who know me will know that one trait I despise in people is arrogance. I'm generally uncomfortable to crow about my own achievements and merits, so just how was I going to sell myself to any potential date?
Hours of staring at a blank cursor flashing on the monitor finally paid off and I put myself out there. Time to sit back, wait, an to be honest not expecting much interest to come trickling back.
But, lo and behold, women started to view my profile. Success! I hear you cry. However, not strictly not the case. Did they not read that I wasn't looking for women over 40? I mean, no offence. I've dated women a few years older but I would most certainly draw the line at a decade now. A few polite excuses were in order. The other problem was that the more interesting women quite literally lived at the other end of the country. I've done the long distance (read transcontinental) thing before and it ain't easy at all.
About a week later however I was messaged by someone a mere 20 miles away. For the purposes of anonymity in this journal I will refer to her as she.
She was attractive, fun, intelligent and bubbly. Even more surprisingly she wanted to meet me. I checked a few times. Yep, she was talking me.
Crikey.
We arranged to meet at a local chain-pub for our first date. Suffice to say you can tell things are going well that you're so deep in conversation that three hours pass in the blink of an eye. Indeed she was attractive, fun, intelligent and bubbly in person.
Wow.
Mentally checked again, oh my god it was me she had wanted to meet.
Date two would have been a lot sooner had I not contracted a pleasant case of conjunctivitis and a particularly chesty cough (I blame a stop search of a suspicious male I did who didn't quite have the best bodily hygiene shall we say). However she demonstrated great patience in waiting for me to get well again.
We arranged to meet again.
The rest you can say is history.
Some two months later and things are going very well indeed. We spend as much time together as work allows. We share similar passions in life, yet she's opening my eyes to new things.
One night she told me she loved me. I was blindsided. I never expected to hear someone look into my eyes and say that ever again. I too have fallen in love with her.
Quite simply she has been the most wonderful surprise. Without sounding cliched I feel like the luckiest man in the world. I expected a long trail of unsuccessful dates. She certainly sounded like she had experienced just that. But to strike lucky first time? I mean, really, what are the chances?
I don't have many exes to speak of, but at least a couple of them remain good close friends.
As I said to one of them recently "Each love is unique."
Treasure each love, mourn it's loss, but dare surrender yourself to the promise of something new.
Hopefully I am proof positive that it is possible.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Anon
I find these days that I have to be carefully what I write.
I can't really talk about work these days, which sort of deprives me of a major source of material. Ever since I got discovered by some back-stabber who saw it fit to go straight to a superior without perhaps having a word in my ear, I basically can't mention... Well... Pretty much anything of the day to day life of a response officer in a rural county. Really it is quite frustrating. I have the utmost respect for the police bloggers out there, however I simply do not have the anonymity. I'm fairly sure some colleagues googled my late colleague Stacey and ended up finding the tribute I wrote back in 2007, and then putting 2 and 2 together. Though I'd rather have remained anonymous, that's one post I could never, ever delete.
I'd like to talk more about personal issues as well, but again to the small band of you who read this. Hell, you actually know me in person. Which makes it easier, yet harder to share.
What has happened in recent weeks?
Plain clothes policing
Unmarked cars
15hr shifts
Drug seizures
Internet dating
Blind date
New girlfriend
Pick one. I'll try to elaborate if I can.
I can't really talk about work these days, which sort of deprives me of a major source of material. Ever since I got discovered by some back-stabber who saw it fit to go straight to a superior without perhaps having a word in my ear, I basically can't mention... Well... Pretty much anything of the day to day life of a response officer in a rural county. Really it is quite frustrating. I have the utmost respect for the police bloggers out there, however I simply do not have the anonymity. I'm fairly sure some colleagues googled my late colleague Stacey and ended up finding the tribute I wrote back in 2007, and then putting 2 and 2 together. Though I'd rather have remained anonymous, that's one post I could never, ever delete.
I'd like to talk more about personal issues as well, but again to the small band of you who read this. Hell, you actually know me in person. Which makes it easier, yet harder to share.
What has happened in recent weeks?
Plain clothes policing
Unmarked cars
15hr shifts
Drug seizures
Internet dating
Blind date
New girlfriend
Pick one. I'll try to elaborate if I can.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Newswipe
Absolutely spot on. Charlie Brooker rocks!
If you haven't already seen this - seek out more on BBC4, Youtube, or his excellent Guardian columns.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Protest
Unusual perhaps for a copper, but I'm all in favour of protest.
Up to a point.
Free speech, free press in this country is something we should all be extremely proud of.
Anarchists hijacking peaceful protests though is hardly a surprise these days, but the scrum of media and photographers surrounding those few protesters who stormed the RBS building was a frankly ridiculous sight.
Three or four protesters actually doing the damage and what looked like twenty-plus camera lenses early snapping every move.
Now that's corageous journalism.
Protestor to BBC:
"We've tried to go along this route, protesting peacfully..."
Fair enough.
"We've been angry, but you can understand that we've been angry..."
D'oh, you said it!
"And basically the police have come along here and hemmed us in on all sides... We can't get out. No-one can go out, no-one can come in."
BBC "Can I just ask - why are you here, why are you protesting?"
"I think the government have made an absolute ass of themselves, and look what they're doing, they're encouraging the police to be violent."
Hmmm. To be honest looks like it was all hunky-dory until your anarchist mates stired things up by redecorating the RBS foyer. Perhaps you should ask the Climate Camp up the road for a (ahem) crash course in sensible protest 101?
Meanwhile I'm going to go and seek out for my home-office approved Urban Violence course.
I never knew we had one.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
New digs pics
A full set is up on my facebook page, but if you're not of that persuasion, here's a few to peruse.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Location, location, location
One month on from the move and, without tempting fate here, I can resoundingly say it's been a move for the better.
I would have blogged several weeks ago if it hadn't have been for the bickering between BT and Virgin Media which delayed my Internet connection for almost a month.
One annoying thing about moving is that all the utility providers generally keep referring you to their website for more information. Not very helpful when you don't have a connection. Asking to speak to a human being seems like a very big ask to them at times.
But anyway, I digress.
The new digs!
Firstly, although the rent is considerable jump from what I was paying for my last place... What new levels of comfort I can now experience! Heating that warms the place up within mere minutes; double-glazing and insulation that actually encourages the heat to hang around for a while. Good-god, I have a a garage... A hallway now and everything. Eat your heart out Donald Trump...
Seriously though, the new flat is most definitely worth the expense.
It's incredibly modern and trendy for a northern type like me, you see. Spotlights, extractor fans, skylights, blinds, cctv door cameras... Lots of shiny buttons and things. There's a sitcom in here waiting to be filmed.
Once you see the pictures I expect to get comments along the line of "bachelor pad" don't you worry.
But furnishings aside I think I'm benefiting most from the location - a mere 12 miles from work versus some 25 I had to drive before. I'm saving petrol, mileage but even more critically... Time. An extra 20 minutes may not sound like much, but believe you me, at the end of a 12-hour day it can feel like an eternity.
With the location also come the people. having lived in a cul-de-sac before I got to know my neighbours really well, whereas here residents here are always moving past or through. Those I've met seem pleasant enough however.
I actually have friends and colleagues living in the same neighbourhood now too. Hell, at this rate I'm in real danger of developing a social life again.
All-in-all then...
So far, so good.
I would have blogged several weeks ago if it hadn't have been for the bickering between BT and Virgin Media which delayed my Internet connection for almost a month.
One annoying thing about moving is that all the utility providers generally keep referring you to their website for more information. Not very helpful when you don't have a connection. Asking to speak to a human being seems like a very big ask to them at times.
But anyway, I digress.
The new digs!
Firstly, although the rent is considerable jump from what I was paying for my last place... What new levels of comfort I can now experience! Heating that warms the place up within mere minutes; double-glazing and insulation that actually encourages the heat to hang around for a while. Good-god, I have a a garage... A hallway now and everything. Eat your heart out Donald Trump...
Seriously though, the new flat is most definitely worth the expense.
It's incredibly modern and trendy for a northern type like me, you see. Spotlights, extractor fans, skylights, blinds, cctv door cameras... Lots of shiny buttons and things. There's a sitcom in here waiting to be filmed.
Once you see the pictures I expect to get comments along the line of "bachelor pad" don't you worry.
But furnishings aside I think I'm benefiting most from the location - a mere 12 miles from work versus some 25 I had to drive before. I'm saving petrol, mileage but even more critically... Time. An extra 20 minutes may not sound like much, but believe you me, at the end of a 12-hour day it can feel like an eternity.
With the location also come the people. having lived in a cul-de-sac before I got to know my neighbours really well, whereas here residents here are always moving past or through. Those I've met seem pleasant enough however.
I actually have friends and colleagues living in the same neighbourhood now too. Hell, at this rate I'm in real danger of developing a social life again.
All-in-all then...
So far, so good.
Röyksopp - 'Happy Up Here'
A great Royksopp track with a typically excellent video.
Normal blogging service will resume shortly, I promise.
God knows I didn't mean to be offline for that long...
Enjoy.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on...
Sorry for lack of updates in recent weeks, just when I was starting to get back into the swing of blogging n' all.
This month's excuse is my impending house move.
I move in two days time.
Yikes!
At present, walking from the living upstairs to the bedrooms is something of a military assault course with the ammount of... Well, stuff I have boxed, bagged or rolled waiting to be packed into the hire van on move-day.
Two years; who'd have thought I needed all this... Stuff?
Where'd all this stuff come from?
Anyway.
Appears I may be offline for [*shudder*] upwards of a week. Strangely, for a new-build only a few years old the previous tenants never connected a land line. Although I don't really use a land line per se, without one I can't get back online. Cue delicate negotiations with the agents as to who's paying what exactly.
Expect pictures and musings on the new digs & location as soon as I get re-connected.
In the meanwhile I'm setting this to autopilot; ditto Facebook, Twitter, Hotmail pages & the like.
Right then, where's I put the packing tape?
[*whistles*]
Maybe tomorrow I'll wanna' settle down.
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.
This month's excuse is my impending house move.
I move in two days time.
Yikes!
At present, walking from the living upstairs to the bedrooms is something of a military assault course with the ammount of... Well, stuff I have boxed, bagged or rolled waiting to be packed into the hire van on move-day.
Two years; who'd have thought I needed all this... Stuff?
Where'd all this stuff come from?
Anyway.
Appears I may be offline for [*shudder*] upwards of a week. Strangely, for a new-build only a few years old the previous tenants never connected a land line. Although I don't really use a land line per se, without one I can't get back online. Cue delicate negotiations with the agents as to who's paying what exactly.
Expect pictures and musings on the new digs & location as soon as I get re-connected.
In the meanwhile I'm setting this to autopilot; ditto Facebook, Twitter, Hotmail pages & the like.
Right then, where's I put the packing tape?
[*whistles*]
Maybe tomorrow I'll wanna' settle down.
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
25 Random Things
Another one of those meme things...
- I'm an avid Guardian reader.
- I can happily devour an entire packet of biscuits in one sitting.
- Deep-down, even at my lowest ebb, I'm still an optimist.
- I have a love for dance/electronic music, but my tastes are otherwise broad; rock to classical, hip-hop to indie.
- I'm 6'3".
- At the last count, I have visited 22 countries and rising... Travel is one of my great passions in life.
- Following a friends' recommendation I am currently a massive fan of 'The Shield' and secretly wish policing was a little more like that sometime.
- All the women I've had relationships with were born outside the UK.
- I drive too fast.
- I enter a ridiculous number of competitions. Someones got to win, surely?
- I'm intrigued by religion but am still an agnostic.
- Bad manners infuriate me - when you hold a door open for someone and they don't say thanks...
- I'm a bit of a romantic, really.
- Though I don't read as much as I used to, I've always got a book on the go.
- I think I'm starting to develop insomnia.
- Unusual for a bloke; but I love cats.
- I'm typing this to avoid packing. I move house on the 19th of this month.
- Before becoming a copper I worked as a bookseller, and prior to that for a small environmental charity in The New Forest.
- I'm a terrible, but slowly improving cook.
- When I get some more money through I would like to get a decent digital SLR camera and become a better photographer.
- I cannot function properly without a morning coffee.
- I long to be a father. Eventually.
- My heroes include Moby, Neil Armstrong, David Attenborough, Captain Scott and Ellen MacArthur.
- I have a strange fascination with cold places, particularly The Antarctic.
- I can still speak (rustily) fluent Swedish.
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