Go together like a horse and carriage

Had one of those sweet 'family' moments in the last-hour-or-so where my brother rang me to say he'd asked he girlfriend to marry him.

Awww, bless.

Granted many of us thought it inevitable - considering they're well rather matched and have been 'going steady' for some time now. Still... A surprise. And a wonderful one at that.

Which reminds me that I have a cousins' wedding to attend in August, and some of girlfriends' close friends are getting married in June/July if my memory serves me right.

So I better brush the dust off my suit and sling it in the direction of the dry cleaners. Note to self.

Some say I scrub up alright, but more often that not I'm the one sat at the back of these 'do's fiddling with my tie and looking awkward.

Which is why, god-forbid should any lass be insane enough to want to do the big-M with me, I'd much prefer to have a small intimate ceremony, rather than a big expensive one.

The story of my life - I'm uncomfortable being the centre of attention and having parties in my honour; I much prefer being a guest.

Becks is Back!

Thank god Steve McClaren has seen sense and recalled David Beckham.

Every player has off games, dips in form, but when other players seem to be going through the motions for 90 minutes, more often than not he's the hardest working player in an England shirt.

So what about the fame - he didn't ask to be put on a pedestal, he's simply got where he by playing a game he loves with a quite remarkable talent. If you're going to get given a bit of money for it, are you going to refuse?

He's had his moments of madness, but I for one will always raise a glass to a simply awesome player.

Transformers

The fanboy in me can't wait for this.

Read the comics religiously as a kid.

And Starscream's moves? Too cool.

Fetch the popcorn.

Blogizzle

Being the easily amused type I found a link to this site on Northern Monkey's blog and then spent ages wetting myself with laughter as I ran site after site through the translation engine.

Try...

The Conservative Party

BBC News

or that bastion of middle-England

The Daily Mail

Love it.

Sudden and serious

Oh my god.

Last night's shift took a sudden and very serious turn.

Suffice as to say that it will doubtless go to crown court, I can say little else.

Watching the local news this lunchtime was a little surreal.

Don't forget your scythe

Busy shift.

And what should I get?

But sudden death #5.

Was it something I said?

Target Culture

Shit falls downwards.

Which is why, as a junior responce officer I could not help but agree with the following articles...

Firstly the thoughts of the Police Federation - the closest coppers have to a 'union'.

Secondly the thoughts of an experienced beat bobby.

At the end of each shift my colleagues & I fill out what we affectionately call a 'bean counter'. Basically a 'ticks in boxes' grid of what incidents, arrests, tickets etc we've had in the course of each shift and fax it off to the relevant department.

Ah, the joy of paperwork.

Whilst I can kinda' see the point of measuring officers, the fact that some incidents we go to can tie us up all day and get us no 'ticks' at all is rather frustrating. We can spend entire shifts serving the public good in some way shape or form - but oh no... You can't measure that can you?

Don't fear the reaper

This last time year I was lucky enough to have navigated the course of my life without having seen a dead body.

In the space of just over two months I've now seen four.

We get called out occasionally to what are known as 'sudden deaths'.

SD's are, from a police point of view, where a death occurs out of the care of the medical profession and is unexpected. A police officer will attend after the paramedics to give the bodies a cursory check to make sure that there are no suspicious circumstances. Next you fill out a Death Reported form, which is a checklist of questions you have to ensure you ask the next of kin attending, whatever stage of grief they may be at. It's delicate balance finding the right tone sometimes.

Before I stated this job I thought the sight of the bodies may stay with me, but I'm surprised in myself that this does not appear to have been the case. I can attend, be sympathetic and do the necessaries. But part of me manages to stay a little... Disconnected.

Maybe it's the fact that the bodies I've seen this far have all been old. They've generally died in their sleep. They've seen a good innings.

Question is though, how will I react when faced with someone cut down in their prime?

RTC's & Overtime

I just counted up my overtime hours and last week I addition to my normal working shifts I've pulled a 60-70hr week. No wonder I'm feeling a little burnt out of late! Feels like I'm living at work at the moment... I can't complain though, ever since I joined this aspect of the job has been flagged up.

Last night's sample incident:

2-vehicle RTC, one car comes tearing into a roundabout taking this poor older driver completely by surprise. Older driver is alright & uninjured but his car is a write-off. Ditto the idiots' vehicle and what's more they start making off from the scene. Myself, a traffic unit and dog unit attend. I go to the scene, speak to witnesses and they point out the idiots disappearing into a field in the distance. I direct the traffic/dog units to their location and unsurprisingly when caught up with and faced with a snarling dog they soon give themselves up. Driver is ascertained and breath-tests determine he's completely pissed. 2/3hrs work at scene/station resulting from complete recklessness, however two idiots detained.

Nice.

The first woman to swim in Saudi

Absolutely fascinating/disturbing article that's well worth a few minutes of your time.

Public Order

Extremely busy day today assisting in the policing of a medium-size market town in the throws of a major public festival.

You've got to smile at the logic of a control room though who splits the staff onto two channels - those directly policing the event itself and those assisting. They kept shouting up on my channel for response officers (all, er, two of us) to attend incidents all over town, and more often than not they were sending us to locations mere yards away from the festival route.

"Offender is heading down so-and-so road..."

Right. So the half-a-dozen PSCO's right next door might've been a better option then, rather then getting me to fight my way through town in a response car with half the roads closed.

Ah well. We can but try.

Was thinking on a lonely drive how much I've seen in these eight-or-so weeks since I went independent in March. Dead bodies, house fires, car crashes, blood, vomit, foul language and abuse aplenty. And more often than not - long gawping stares from members of the public acting like they’ve never seen a Police Officer before.

Chiming in

Blogging has taken much of a backseat of late.

Not that I don’t enjoy doing it – rather work is just so damn tiring that I come home, sit in front of a flashing blank cursor for a few minutes and then slope off either towards the cooker, bed or the TV in creative defeat.

Often in the quieter moments on patrol or around about the witching hour on a nightshift, I think of some insightful ramble into the more intriguing aspects of my job that I suimply must share. Sadly more often than not they’re either simply forgotten on the trip home, or like sand through fingers I lose that wonderful turn-of-phrase that struck me quite suddenly earlier when something trivial distracts me.

*sigh*

Otherwise; currently enjoying the girlfriend’s hospitality on my days off, destroying worlds with her lad on Halo and undergoing rigorous psychological vetting by her friends on a number of nights out. That and drinking copious amounts of coffee in deepest Norwich.

Anyway, another quick chime in just to let you all know that I’m still alive.

Someone slam on the brakes though.

May already?!