Thursday, August 31, 2006

Do not view sober

A friend reminded me about this great website the other day.

Got...

Broadband?

A surreal late-night kinda' sense of humour?

Then discover...

Why I joined up.

Why I want to go to Kenya.

And finally, since England are playing this weekend - here's the Badger Special Edition.

Trust me they are funnier after a beer or two. Do not view sober.

Goodnight.

Environmental Rant

How come when they show pictures of power stations on the news do they focus on these?



They're blooding cooling towers for crying out loud, belching out...

Steam!

That tall stack in the background; now there's your C02.

If you didn't know that - consider yourself educated and join me in throwing cushions the TV next time they make that mistake on the evening news.

As an ex-environmental studies student, I see the protestors' point, but the medias' lack of attention to detail really annoys me.

And these protestors - anyone heard of long-term strategies?

They want to...

"Switch Drax power station off now!"

Right. It powers 7 million homes, do you mind hanging on a few years... Ummm decades? This power generation-thing isn't exactly like a light switch.

Oh, how'd you get here by the way?

Drove...

Rrrright.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Eyeopener

Starting today, since we lost a day because of the Bank Holiday, I've been sent out on a one-week community placement in order to better understand the area I will eventually be policing. I've been assigned to shadow social workers at a care home for children in the area, and to say it's already been an eye-opener is an understatement. The managers and assistants work tirelessly to create a welcoming, safe and relatively free environment for young people who've had to cope with an awful lot of crap awfully soon in life.

Yet even where they can see someone going off the rails, and where things are already reaching a critical level, from what I understand thus far, sometimes certain criteria have to be reached before certain protocols can be enacted. To say someone is at risk isn't enough, there has to be evidence, and patterns. So many different groups are pulling in different directions, each with their own targets and agendas, sometimes young people fall through cracks in the system whilst arguments and paperwork debate what may or may not be best for them

Two comments stick in my mind from today.

"Er, why do we need a police officer here?" [young resident, a little surprised upon being told I was a trainee officer]

"Some of your lot, only a few, just see them as little bastards..." [member of staff in off-the-record conversation]

Earlier this year I began corresponding with a remarkable young woman with similar experience of the blunt end of life. The resolve she and others display through some of the most raw experiences life throws at them is simply astonishing.

I thought I had a tricky time growing up. My parents separated for a few years and I lived in Sweden with my mother, my father and brother remaining in England, add to that the year in Australia and my bonds at schools were always somewhat flimsy, and perhaps that's why I was bullied throughout secondary school. Your own problems always seem like the worst in the world at the time, and I though I won't take that away from myself in belittling my own troubles, now that I draw back from that memory, pan-out and see the wider picture my previous doubts are now glaringly in perspective.

As 'Monk rightly pointed out in a previous comment:

There's no point worrying until I have something to worry about.

I have a good job, stable income, a roof over my head, family and people who love me.

Things could be a lot, lot worse.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The scream

[Spooky!! 31/08/06 - The missing copy of said painting was recovered today in Oslo!]

It's all going a bit Edvard Munch down here.

Oh I give up, I just went on a really big rant about a ridiculous subject; typing away furiously. Spent about ten minutes before deciding no, that sounds fucking ridiculous and hit delete.

Nothing important anyway.

I'm tired.

The house is mine once again, and I've had it up to here with assembling flat-pack furniture, how ever lovely it looks when finished.

Several friends have been real nice in talking me through my sudden lack of confidence and drive. I can't explain quite where and when it hit, but that I still feel turbulent when I should feel settled and real proud of myself.

I'm getting more and more terrified that I've made yet another mistake.

I want to walk out the door and into the middle of the forest out the back of the house, stand in the centre where the paths merge and scream my lungs out through shear frustration.

Thing is; it's pitch dark out the back, I watched The Blair Witch Project again the other night, and the nettles near the entrance of the wood sting like hell.

Ah well.

This crisis of confidence is one of my own manufacture, I know, I know...

Give me a week, this will hopefully blow over.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

They're heeerrreee...

The parents are here for the weekend giving the new house the once-over.

Benefits:
  • Quality of meals has gone up
  • Use of a Ford Focus Estate to do an Ikea run tomorrow
  • Suddenly the place isn't so empty

Drawbacks:
  • So much for a relaxing weekend then

Friday, August 25, 2006

Doubts; I've had a few

Summer's returned, we finished early for the bank holiday weekend... Life is good.

I think.

In week three of the training programme the learning curve has gotten real steep. I knew to expect this, but still the depth of knowledge that an officer is supposed to carry around in their head plus various other protocols - still it all comes as a shock.

And I'd be lying if I didn't sit and think occasionally if I really was good enough to be selected after all.

But see in that lies a slippery slope; next comes the question...

Did I make the right decision?

Swiftly followed by

What am I doing here?

Then...

If this isn't right, what is?

...And then we're on an express train to depression central.

However, went out on the town with my new colleagues which was good fun. Very interesting indeed to see a totally different side to everyone. I take solace in the fact that they're a good hearted bunch; we look out for each other - as demonstrated by mine, and a few others', night being cut short as we escorted a slightly wasted collegue back to the block.

Oh, but it's too nice outside to be moping in here. The garden is calling, as is the sun's warm embrace.

I'll lose myself in that for a while before my doubts come back to haunt me.

Now where's my cranberry juice?

Monday, August 21, 2006

OK *that* hurt

Spent most of today getting various new and up-close views of the HQ gymnasium floor following throws, arm-locks, hand-cuffs and generally much pain and discomfort.

They call this Officer Safety Training.

It's excellent fun, don't get me wrong (and crucial to the job too) but boy am I going to feel that for the next few days.

Now I'm 6'3" but we ended up doing techniques so effective that I was being quite easily felled by 5'3" lasses. The bigger they come, I guess...

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Home again, how strange

Real strange being back 'home', visiting the parents.

Returned last night for the first time since I moved.

I know it's only been a few weeks since I left up here, but even still I'm looking at everything around me here with a fresh, detached view.

Perspective is a wonderful thing.

Had a good reason to come back as well, one of best friends was hosting a Big Brother final eviction night party. Exactly what I needed, after the relative solace of the new house - good food, good drinks cheesy viewing and the company of friends old, and some new.

I'm glad I moved, but I'm glad I can return.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Crash

You'd think the first few weeks would be death-by-PowerPoint, but as part of our lectures on race & diversity today we watched Crash. Good film indeed - one of those I'd always meant to watch but never got around to it. But movie-review aside; immensely important to what us newbies are embarking upon, and something that we've been discussing in groups for various follow-up sessions.

One of the greatest prejudices out there?

Exists against the police.

Seriously; think about it.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Football & The Force

The summer has gone very quick indeed if the Premiership season is virtually upon us, plus the the first England international friendly since the World Cup has just kicked off. Where's the hell has 2006 gone already?

Say what you want about Eriksson but, like many things, I'd think the media killed his reign. I seem to be in a bit of a minority defending him though. The England manager's job always has been somewhat of a poisoned chalice, but all of these armchair managers up and down the nation seem to disregard the glaring fact that statistically he's one of our most successful managers ever. Of course he should take some of the blame for some quite bizarre tactical decisions during the World Cup, but why weren't the likes of Lampard taken out the back of the stadium and shot for their poor performances? You watch - he'll be banging them in for bloody Chelsea.

Meanwhile the Police training continues to go well. Certainly a good bunch of people I'm training with, very diverse. 50/50 split male/female and a broad range of ages from those who've just turned 20, to forty something's and then me (somewhere in the middle). Like a centrifuge things have started gently but I can feel the pressure slowly, every so slowly, building. These first few weeks have been very much classroom-based, and following various lessons we've had quick spot-checks on what we've absorbed. Now I've only been out of education for a little while, but it must be a real shock to some of my older colleagues; I know my brain is hurting once more. I quite literally feel like I need to train my mind back into the study-routine.

Anyway, we're in the gym Friday for the first part of our practical Officer Safety Training. I'm talking handcuffs and...

"Is that a ten-inch knife in your tracksuit sir, or are you just pleased to see me?" type-exercises... Should be fun.

And bruising.

Oh my god! I'm typing this and the spiky-headed pug Lampard just scored.

"After the disappointment of the World Cup..."

Says the commentator.

No shit.

Look at the goal anyway, it took a whopping deflection off the Greek defender.

Massively overratedd still, if you ask me.

A few minutes later, I'm just about click post and...

Three - nil!

Like a Greek wedding - Smashing.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Reverse Cheers

Although work is going well, and the general feeling is that of wind in my sails, still something's missing.

This house, lovely as it is, feels a little empty.

Much as I toy with the idea with buying a pet, I've got to think responsibly here. Early next year my work schedule becomes as predictable as roulette, and any time off I have coming I plan my escape abroad for a few days.

Come to think of it, I have time off in October. If I'm feeling lonely here, I may as well loose myself where nobody knows my name.

Now, I've only got to decide where.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

House pics!

No, nothing to do with dance music, but pictures of my humble little abode.

Anyway, here's a peek through the keyhole to those of you who kept asking.

High above

Okay I am officially adicted to Google Earth now that I have broadband... It's just great being able to fly over over the world at the click of a button.

Yosemite? Click, whoosh.

Korean DMZ? Click, zoooom.

Matt's house? Click...

You get the idea.

Very cool.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Day five

Well I’m finally back online following the move. Shock-horror it’s with broadband too. I’d held off installing a fast connection through uncertainty of employment etc, but now that I’m settled and things are going well it was about time to switch. This is great though; pages pop up instantly, I can download podcasts, music and things without having to wait hours.

Training is going well. I was remarking to someone only today how it’s been a long time since I’ve genuinely looked forward to going into work. Maybe I was so utterly disillusioned with my previous job. Which is another thing – I now also feel that at long last I have a career, and not just a job. First week has been pretty varied filling in various admin forms, physical test, site visit to undertake some public questionnaires (in civilian clothing), the attestation ceremony (official swearing in – I now have my warrant card), various lectures on basic police theory, ethics and things. We wear the uniform every day and I'm suprised how natural it feels already. Unfortunately some homework comes with the territory, so even out-of-hours I’m still busy.

Take a look at the news – it’s an interesting time to join the Police Force. I’m not just talking about the terror plot that’s dominating the headlines, never a day goes by when there isn’t a major news story involving the Police it seems.

That plus renting the house too, the floodgates have opened on a personal level. It’s like some sort of long-delayed stage of adulthood which had long eluded me.

Thanks again for everyone’s best wishes & things; hopefully I can return more of the calls, the emails and the notes now that I have a stable phoneline.

Anyway, the pizza smells like it’s about ready…

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Settling

Hurrah! Broadband is on its way so I should hopefully be back online next week sometime. Surprised how much one relies on the ‘net these days, found it especially hard researching for a pre-induction assignment set by the 'Cops. Also found it tricky whilst trying to sign up to various utilities.

“Well it’s available on our website…”

they say, matter-of-factly.

“Umm, yeah, I don’t have internet access again until next week at the earliest.”

[*pause*]

“Ah…”

[Tramps to local library… Again.]

The house is now starting to resemble a home and is attaining some semblance of tidiness. I will post some pictures at some point, promise.

Totally stoked that I have a garden, which even better, backs onto a large wood and agricultural fields; already getting plenty of squirrels and birds in the garden. I just realised – I can have barbeques too! Fabulous.

Other than that, my new job kicks off Monday morning.

Fascinating how many people didn’t know still and remarked with raised eyebrows and stunned tones

“Wow, that’s a change of direction…”

It's fun to suprise people.

Thanks to all of you for all the messages of good luck and goodwill.

I promise I’ll be back in contact again with you all when things settle down.

In a sense.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Busy is good

I’ll be incommunicado for a little while longer.

Have moved into my new place but still busy unpacking, connecting utilities and broadband access is at least a good week away.

Initial reccies of the area have been fruitful. The town in which I’ll be living, seems a nice place. An old market town, much like Beverley. The town in which I’ll be working (I’d rather not say because of the job) is also very nice indeed. Another old market town, with significantly more character retained than you’d expect in these modern times.

Anyway, will post more when things settle down.

Busy is good, less time to think.